not alone in this world
by TFRiD Queen
Summary: SPOILER ALERT A set of drabbles related to the ending of Nobunagun, told and experienced from different viewpoints, worlds-but the theme is still the same: Sio Ogura, you're never alone in this world. Mature content in certain chapters.
1. Sleepless Night (AU)

**A/N: So. Nobunagun has come to an end, sadly after only 6 volumes. This story and its chapters will attempt to detail, as well as consolidate my own thoughts/story ideas related to the last few chapters. The chapters are not necessarily all related, nor are they in chronological order; but rather, they are from multiple viewpoints-AU, canon, otherwise-around the same set of events.**

 **This first chapter takes place in the modern-day AU, with no e-genes or DOGOO or EIOs. Based off the song "Sleepless Night" by Acid Black Cherry.**

* * *

 _Seeing a dream where you disappeared into the light, I cried._  
 _Without a word, you held me in your embrace._  
 _I realized that it was natural for us to be together._  
 _However small, I knew I was happy._  
 _Words really aren't necessary._

 _'I-I…I promise, I'll come back…I'll definitely return!'_

 _'Yeh, you'd better…'cause I'll be here waiting…'_

And then she was falling but smiling and crying, reaching for him as she fell down down, down into the endless darkness…

"Sio!" Her voice was whispered out as his eyes opened, he himself not even realizing that he'd been talking in his sleep.

It was a dream…wasn't real, couldn't be real–and yet why was he feeling the sickening dread in the pit of his stomach as he replayed those details, each and every image so vivid that it caused him to shiver.

He had _wings_? They were fighting _aliens_? _E-genes?_ None of those words meant anything to him, but somehow, it felt eerily familiar…as if he'd once been through the same thing…

 _'No…stop tricking yourself! It can't be real…you just watched too many kaiju films lately with Sio…'_ Still, the cold tendril of fear gripped his stomach, and even though he knew it hadn't been possible–because really, aliens–the anxiety did not back down; if anything, it was escalating.

Trying his best not to panic, he looked over to his side where a small figure lay, hair spread all over as she breathed deeply. "Sio…" He was about to touch her shoulder when he hesitated. _'…Maybe I shouldn't wake her up…I-I mean, it's just a bloody nightmare…'_

She looked so peaceful…the smile on her face not unlike that sad, bittersweet smile that dream-version of her gave…

His stomach gave another lurch and this time he didn't hesitate to run for the bathroom and empty the contents into the porcelain bowl. " _Hrrk–!_ " No matter how hard he tried to ground himself in reality, the only thing going through his mind was that terrifying fear of loss–of losing the one person who was more important than any one thing or person in the entire world.

" _Hnn_ …Adam? Adam, are you–!" Even though he wanted to let her rest, she had woken up anyway–probably because he was, unfortunately, making a bit of a racket. "Adam, _daijoubu_?! Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeh…I-I'm, fine…" Heaving, he let himself hang over the edge just a bit longer, just in case as she rubbed his back, voice filled with worry. "S-Sorry, woke you up…"

"No, you shouldn't be sorry…! You're ill…you should've told me…" Her voice was cracking, and he knew her eyes was filling with tears–just like–

 _'I-I…I don't know, how soon…I can…'_

" _Hnn–!_ " Why, why were those images and scenes still so vivid in his mind? As Sio rushed to the kitchen for a glass of water and some medicine, Adam wished he knew why. For this wasn't the first time he'd had these…colorful dreams, about some strange world where aliens were invading the Earth, and he and Sio, and apparently Mahesh and Jess and few other folks they knew, were warriors that were imbued with the souls of heroes past.

Before, he'd simply dismissed it as one of those odd, recurring serial dreams that people sometimes had. That, and his ratio of watching monster films had increased significantly since he'd started dating Sio. But now…it was almost as if he was living some parallel or alternate life; and while he slept, he was able to get an occasional glance.

"Here, drink some water…are you feeling okay? Was it something you ate? Do you need to see the doctor?" She peered at him worriedly, maroons red-rimmed but wide with fear.

"Oy, it's all right…'s not serious, I'm…I'll be fine…" After rinsing his mouth out and taking some medicine, he let her guide him back to their bed, sighing as she pulled his head into her lap and gently stroked his hair. Normally he didn't discuss his dreams, but for some reason, now, it felt like it was time.

"You…you're sure, you're okay?" Her hands were soft and warm, combing each individual strand while her other patted his back.

"…I had a nightmare."

"Oh…!" Her hands stopped momentarily, as if she didn't know what to say. "I…I understand. I've had…some really scary ones, too…"

He closed his eyes. Yes, perhaps he should tell her about his strange, recurring dreams, because the last time she'd had such a nightmare, its contents sounded strangely similar. "…You remember that time, you had that nightmare? Gave you such a fright that we ended up stayin' up 'til dawn, drinking hot chocolate an' playing board games?" Mirza and his girlfriend had been over that night as well, and the three of them did everything they could to calm the poor brunette down. It wasn't an experience any of them were keen on repeating; Sio was shaking and crying for a good deal of the night, Adam feeling helpless because he couldn't do anything more other than try and reassure her that it wasn't real. It wasn't until the sky was grey and pink, did she finally manage to calm down enough to get some measure of rest, the four of them crashing in the living room until it was well past noon.

"…Ah, yeah…"

"…Well, guess you can say, I had…somethin' similar…"

"Adam…" Suddenly she leaned down and hugged him tight, as if trying to banish that memory herself. "I-I…did, in your dream…did I…did we…"

He didn't know all the details of her dream, but he could guess well enough. "No…well, I…I don't know. I-I mean, in my dream…I was, like…" He furrowed his brows, trying not to panic again but he had to explain this. "…It was as if, I was…sending you away…but, for what reason I don't know…and yet, in that dream–the me in that dream–we, both seemed…to accept it…?" He shook his head, suddenly sitting up. "I don't know; it was weird, and–I know it sounds stupid, but–we were, saving the world? From aliens?"

He was expecting her to laugh, but suddenly all color drained from her face, and he felt a lump growing in his throat.

"…Did…do…do the words…'Dogoo' or 'e-genes' mean anything to you…"

His throat was dry and his heart was pounding. "…You mean, you've…"

"…Dreamt of the same thing? Of a world where we're fighters for humanity, fighting off an alien invasion with weapons made from the souls of historical figures?" Her voice was oddly still now, but he knew from experience that usually meant she was on the edge of an outburst. "Oh my god, I can't believe–"

"–Calm down Sio, I–" He what? It was all a coincidence? That they just so happened to share the same type of dream, with those exact phrases?

"What if it's…real? What if it, it's…like, some kind of warning? Oh my god…" Now Sio was the one who was shaking, quivering with the type of fear that he was slowly starting to feel himself.

"No. It's not, they're not…I won't accept it!" Still, even as he hugged her fiercely, something in the back of his mind told him that it was all too much for it to be mere coincidence. "I…I actually thought, well this is pretty crazy–"

"What is it?"

"…I don't know; do you believe in…alternate, dimensions? Stuff like parallel lives?" It sounded so dumb coming from his own mouth, but it was his best guess. Short of some extreme coincidence, but that was becoming harder and harder to accept.

She turned around in his grasp. "You…do you think those are our 'other' selves? That we're…somehow, living through, them?"

He shrugged helplessly. "I don't know…god, I don't understand any of this! Could've just been something we ate, for all we know…"

"…Maybe you're right. But, somehow, I have a feeling…it's not that…" Though she was calmer now, she still buried her head against his chest. "Even if, we're just getting glimpses of another world…still, I feel, sorry for them–us–"

"–Yeh; I know what you mean…" Even though in his dream, that Adam seemed to have come to terms with their parting…if it truly was another version of him in some other realm, then he knew that that Adam must've been hurting as well. For even just thinking about it right now, in the safety of their flat in London, with no aliens or anything like that…his heart was breaking. "In my dream, you were leaving…for a long time, and you…you promised you would return, but who knows how long I'll–he–will be waiting…"

She nodded, sniffling a bit now. "Do you think it's…silly, to feel sorry for…ourselves? For people we…aren't even sure, if they do exist?"

"No; it's what it means to be human, after all." He sighed deeply and held her close, suddenly feeling a little guilty that he could have her here, warm, safe and soft, while another version of him would suffer the pain of loneliness.

"…I wish somehow, we could help them…"

"Mm, yeh; but I don't know what we could even do…"

"…We're talking about theoretical things about theoretical people around a theoretical idea that might not even be true."

"Mm hmm."

"…Okay. Just double-checking."

He laughed a little, and kissed her on the head. "Sio…you really do amaze me, you know…" Logically speaking, the whole idea seemed quite absurd: alternate versions in another world fighting aliens? With historical reincarnations? And they were living vicariously through them…? Still, he wouldn't deny that the pang of sadness hadn't quite gone away, though it was slowly fading.

"…Maybe we should live for them." He quirked an eyebrow at her. "I-I mean, if…if, they…are another version of us, we should…enjoy our happiness. In their stead." She blinked a few times, as if analyzing her words. "Oh wait, that just sounds really selfish…"

"Nah love; I think, if I knew of another version of me out there, who had a better life…I'd wish him all the best…" His life was pretty good now, but like they say, the grass was always greener on the other side.

 _During these sleepless nights,_  
 _Why does my chest hurt thinking of you?_  
 _Even though I'm this happy,_  
 _I wept seeing another scary dream._  
 _When I awoke from that dream,_  
 _Everything seemed to vanish and it was as if I was dying._  
 _That's why my sleepless nights repeat._  
 _Then, I'd be able to continue thinking of you._

Though they were both lying down now and he was physically exhausted, sleep was not coming. The fear of losing her…after that scare, he wanted to experience every conscious second with her, thinking of her; for once she was gone…

"Are you still…scared?" Her hands were rubbing his, before he opened his palm and she laced their fingers together. "Me too…thinking about, scary things…"

"Sorry…I didn't mean to make you feel bad…" He hated triggering her anxieties, but at the same time it was a relief to know that he wasn't alone in his thoughts. The ache in his chest…it sat there, like a dull stone instead of his heart. Even though it hadn't happened to him, the thought was just too painful.

"Adam…y-you won't, leave me, will you?"

Oh no. Her voice was quivering, which meant she was fast falling down the slippery slope of her own anxieties again. Shit, he should've known that bringing this up might trigger her own insecurities, but too late for regrets now. "No! Of course not Sio…I don't care how many times I have to say it, but I'll never leave you; I'll always be here, promise, all right?" He thumbed her tears away as she sniffled, holding him so tight it was as if she was trying to burrow into his very being.

"I know…I know…just, I can't help it–"

"Shh Sio, it's all right…I understand…" The fear of losing someone, in the blink of an eye…it wasn't as if he didn't have his own doubts, though he was reluctant to voice them. "…But you…you have t' promise to not go anywhere, either…" He could feel her pulse against his, not quite the steady and mellow pace as when they were asleep. "Because, if you…left…I honestly don't know if I could…go on…or even want to…"

She gasped, and he instantly regretted his choice of words. So perhaps admitting that suicide might actually be an option should they face an untimely parting wasn't the best idea…but Adam wouldn't deny that, in his darkest of fears, it had crossed his mind before.

"D-Don't…don't say that… Please, Adam…"

"–All right; let's just, not talk about this anymore…we both agree, even if it's more than just a dream…the only thing we can do, is to live…for them…"

He held her in silence for a few more minutes, before sitting up abruptly, Sio rubbing her eyes in a confused manner. "Bloody hell; we're never going back to sleep as is…" Pulling back the covers, he shuffled into the kitchen, wincing as the lights caused his emeralds to painfully contract.

" _A-Ano_ , what are you…"

The carton of milk was pulled out of the fridge, along with a tin of chocolate. Not just the usual powder, but solid chocolate that was usually sold only in specialty stores. "Hot chocolate; I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly tired after that…"

Pouring the liquid with a practiced hand, he let her drop in the chocolate and stir until they melted, adding just a touch of salt–that was the secret–before filling two mugs. Slowly, they just sat around the kitchen table–never mind the clock reading 4:04am–sipping hot chocolate in silence.

"…What happened, in your dream exactly?" He was surprised that she vouched such a question, but it was natural after all for her to be curious.

"…It was strange. I was carrying you over the ocean–uh, we were–I was–flying? I had wings…apparently…"

She giggled a little bit, despite the somber atmosphere. "Oooh, like an angel…I'd like to see that. I think you'd look really good…"

"Hah; well, anyway…we were, talking about stuff…like, you said you'd be back…from, something…and I said, you'd better…and then we…" He blushed a bit as he remembered that, sad as it had been, there had also been something wonderfully tender and vulnerable. "…We, uh…kissed…and then I dropped you into the ocean…"

There was a gap as they both simultaneously sipped their drinks. "You…dropped me into the ocean?"

"…Apparently."

"Oh. Okay…"

When you voiced it out, the whole thing seemed really silly; but in that dream, the emotional depth he'd felt…it hadn't been amusing at all, but rather frightening. But the hot chocolate was helping; that, and parsing it out into actual words, and focusing on the here and now…

"…It's almost 5 in the morning." He glanced at the clock with bleary eyes, having already decided that he was definitely not going into the hospital today. "Are you…going to work?"

"No; I'll just have Niall cover for me at the meeting…'s not important anyway… What about your classes?"

She took their mugs and set them into the sink. "Well, it's only afternoon today…but, I don't know, depends on how I feel…I might just…not go…"

He nodded. There were times when he chastised her about cutting, but now was not one of those times. "That bed sounds pretty good right about now…"

Even though the day was starting to brighten, and the sounds of early morning London were slowly filtering in through the window, they climbed back into the mussed sheets and pulled the covers up.

"…Do you feel better now?" Her voice was soft and whispery as he held her close, feeling drowsy again.

"…Yeh; we should get some sleep, no?"

Even though the dreams were often painful, and filled with despair…he also hoped to see the resolution for that other Adam. To wish that his Sio would eventually return to him…if his other self needed a bit of a boost, well, it was the least he could do.

 _Do you not want to believe, that somewhere out there, there is a you who will know true happiness…_

 _'Isn't that what we all wish for…'_


	2. AZ: I'll return

**A/N: Canon!Sio's thoughts and perspective on the ending; about what she must do, and to whom she will make a promise to.**

 **Warning: aside from major spoilers, contains mature content but not too explicit.**

* * *

"You…you're sure of this, then? _Mon Dieu…_ "

"Yeah…you know it's the only way, Vidocq."

Shaking his head, the Frenchman could only sigh. But she could tell it was a sigh of sorrow, and not of condescendence. Ever since she'd finally proven herself, and been promoted to the command along with him as co-strategist, he'd been a lot more amiable–even though he still chastised her for forgetting certain formalities during meetings.

"At first, I wondered if this is just your way of trying to be a martyr…but ah, I suppose Oda Nobunaga…he was willing to go to any lengths to win, didn't he…"

He offered her a glass of wine, which surprised her–she barely drank, even now, but she supposed a little wouldn't hurt.

"…This war…I made up my mind when I joined DOGOO, that I would give it my everything. This is just…a part of it." She swirled the glass, before taking a sip–and immediately grimaced, much to the amusement of the other holder, and even Commander Iyo herself. "Ugh, how can anyone enjoy this…"

"It is an acquired taste, Miss Nobunagun. It's not meant to be chugged like some soft drink or other."

She wrinkled her nose, setting it down. "Well, thanks but no thanks. I think I'll stick to those soft drinks…"

 _"Sio Ogura…you understand, what it is you are about to embark on?"_ Strange how even though she spent much of her time with the alien and Command now, she still couldn't get used to it. _"If you wish to take shore leave, that is understandable–"_

"–No; no, it's…best if we don't keep dragging this out." It was getting harder and harder everyday…like digging her heels in against a landslide, and yet still slowly slipping forward. Forcing a smile, she thanked Vidocq for the wine, bowed to Commander Iyo and Dogoo, before heading for the decks to greet her platoon.

But first, she had to will her hands to stop shaking.

* * *

" _Two_ AU balls–that's certainly something special, Sio-chan." Gandhi praised her as they returned, unclasping their helmets so they could actually breathe some real air. "But still, I can't think of a more fitting–or suitable–person for it. You truly are amazing, Sio."

"Ah, Gandhi…you don't have to keep praising me, it's…a little embarrassing, actually…" Even now with her newfound status, powers, and secondary e-gene, old habits died hard. "But, you're right…I'm really grateful to Dogoo and the Commander, for doing this…Asao-san, your wish to help others is really coming true…"

Gently she stroked her new AU ball, its designs just the same as her first one, its weight warm and comforting. It had all happened so fast, she'd barely had the time to mourn her loss before Command informed her of her new promotion, and then it was a whirlwind of plans, battles, and strategies. At least she still got to kick ass on the field with the rest of her platoon–though to a lesser extent now, which was something that she knew would make her parents rest easier, yet she wouldn't deny that she missed the thrill of the fight; the rush of adrenaline, going headlong into battle with everyone else…

"Sio? Something the matter?" She blinked, before realizing that Gandhi and Tell had headed off, and it was just her and him. The one who had stood by her through everything, even after that dreadful separation where they didn't see each other or even speak…

"Ah, Adam…just, uh…reminiscing…" She couldn't help but give him a sad little smile, and he nodded. "I…I guess, I'm glad Command's taking my words seriously now, but I gotta admit…I kinda miss being on the ground with everyone else…" Unconsciously she leaned towards him and he automatically pulled her tight. "Whenever I'm just watching you guys on the screen…I always wish I was down there with you…"

"Well I, for one, am glad that you're somewhere safe. 'S not pretty down there, what with those dinosaurs runnin' amok." She gave him a look and he sighed. "But I do admit, it isn't quite the same without your gun…Tell's a good fighter, but he thinks too highly of himself. Just because the man's a human jet…"

Two months were plenty of time for them to get used to working together, but it wasn't the same; two months of Dogoo pulling out its last stock of raw e-gene material, to transform Asao's DNA in record time because they couldn't afford to wait in the old manner, of another holder reborn into the bloodlines. It had been the hardest two months of her life, wondering if she was doing the right thing and yet hopeful that perhaps she and Asao would be able to see each other again, even if it was a different form. At first she'd been so numb and exhausted that she didn't have time to cry much, even after the funeral. 'I'll be fine' was what she said; at least, until she returned to her cabin each night, where he waited up no matter how late, and always, always held her in his arms while she cried herself to sleep.

Interesting how merely a year ago she would've freaked out at the idea of them even holding hands, and now they were sharing a room and even a bed and it was the most natural thing in the world.

"…Adam…I-I…" Her hands shook as she tried to undo her suit, the full weight of what was going to happen hitting her hard and fast now that they were out of prying eyes.

"Hush, love…you don't have to say anything." His voice was low and husky, movements slow as he helped her out of the suit, before she did the same for him. "Shh, Sio…it'll be all right…"

She couldn't help the tears. No matter how much better she'd gotten at hiding them now…when it was just him, she could let the mask drop. "Oh…oh, Adam…I…" She burrowed into his embrace, as she always did whenever she was scared. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…!"

"Don't apologise, Sio. It's not your fault…" Gently he stroked her hair, kissing away each tear that fell. "Though…I'm not going to lie…I'll be missing you an awful lot…your face, your voice, the way you feel…"

Even as her tears fell, she could also feel her body heating up as his hands brushed her soothingly, before she removed the last of her clothing so she could feel her bare skin against his body heat. " _Mmm_ …A-Adam…"

"Yes? What is it?" Lips brushing against her hair, trailing slow, sweet kisses all along her neck and shoulder. "Anything you want, Sio; just say the word…"

She gasped, relishing his touch. That sensation…it never failed to send sparks of electricity up her spine, causing her entire body tingle and that swirl of heat to pool low in her belly. "I…want…"

Slow and sensual, that was how she wanted it tonight. Some nights it was just fluff and cuddling, other times it was fast and rough, and others still were just dedicated to experimenting with different positions and testing to see what they liked. But the kind where they truly called it 'lovemaking', and not just sex…it was what she would probably miss the most.

Her breathing was reaching a pitch as he rolled over her, thrusting in and out at a good pace but still moderate enough so that she could feel every single movement. A wonderful warmth was building up deep inside her, but she didn't want it to end just yet. "C-Could…could you make this last… _ah_ …"

"Of course…" He was nuzzling her, noses touching as they seemed to breathe in sync, lacing their fingers together in one hand as he cupped her face with the other. "Sio…I, love you…you know…"

Even with the slower pace, the pleasure was inevitably building. Everything about him–the hazy emeralds, how his snow-white strands were tangled with sweat as he breathed hard, her name falling in whispered moans between his words of love–it made her feel a swell of emotions that seemed to nearly burst from her chest.

To acknowledge that she might never get to experience this again…to her horror, she felt her desire dropping. "N-No…no…!"

"What's wrong, Sio?" He stopped momentarily, thinking he'd accidentally hurt her, but she grasped his shoulders and wound her legs around his waist, encouraging him. "What is it?"

"Ah…m-make me forget about…that…" She panted, eyes glistening with tears. "I don't want to think about anything else but you! Please…"

Maroons searched emeralds, and he closed them in understanding. There didn't need to be words, not anymore; she understood him just as he did her. Holding her closer, his lips closed on hers as the pace grew, hands pleasing her every sensitive spot. She moaned thickly into his mouth, tongue frantically searching for his as he pushed them both towards that zenith.

" _Hah, hah, hah_ …A-Adam…Adam…! I love you…I love you so much!" Sparks of light were threatening her vision, but whether it was from her tears or her inevitable climax, she couldn't tell.

"Sio…P-Please, I want to come with you…" The words were laced with such a heavy double meaning, and yet the only thing she could feel was a long, heated stretch of pleasure that she proceeded to lose herself in for the rest of the night.

* * *

"You actually turned down a ride in a X-29? Hell, I think even I might've said yes…"

"Well then, how would you feel if I had said yes?"

"Oy there, better watch it, squirt."

The light bantering bringing back memories of their first missions together, especially the hurricane…she blushed and let herself bask in the glowing warmth of that memory.

The pilots had been overzealous, to say the least, and she did feel slightly bad for turning them down…but somehow, she knew that he was also the only choice. The ocean breeze was salty and cold, but somehow she didn't feel chilly at all in his embrace, razor-edged wings gliding along just as fast as any jet plane.

"H-Hey, Adam…" He gave her a downward glance, but otherwise didn't say a thing. "I…I don't, know…how soon I can, c-come back…" Despite her efforts to stay strong, to try and making this as painless as possible, her eyes were tearing up, lips trembling as each word became harder and harder to get out. "B-But, I-I promise…I swear, I'll return…"

His hold shifted so that she was pressed tighter against him, the faint pulse of his heartbeat that was so familiar now. "I know. Of course you'll be back…" Slowly, one hand traced her cheek as a tear fell. "Listen, Sio…don't you worry about the rest of us; we'll handle those monsters, an' when you come back, they'll all be gone. I promise you that. So don't…don't go down there frettin' and all that, all right? You're the most important thing…to this planet's future…and mine…"

"Y-Yeah…" She gulped, forcing herself to swallow her tears.

"When it's all said and done, I'll be waitin' for yeh, right here; so…s-so, you'd better come back, squirt…"

She chuckled at that nickname, that he so rarely called her by anymore. In the beginning she would've done anything just to hear him say her name once, and now, she actually found herself missing that little quirk a bit.

"You can count on it." They were nearing the drop zone, according to her radio. "U-Um, Adam…"

"…Eh?"

Just as he'd caught her off-guard on the hospital roof, she reached up and pulled him down, their lips brushing before sealing together in one, final promise. This warmth, this feeling…she wanted to return to it. To experience it again, hopefully…

"W-Well then…I'll be seein' yeh…" Teardrops fell, neither of them bothering to brush them away as he slowly, seemingly hesitating, before opening his arms.

"Yeah…I'll see you, on the other side…" Tears streaking, but she forced a smile because he was doing his best to smile for her as well, so that his beautiful emeralds were the last thing she would see, a final salute as she plunged to her duty.

 _'A-Ano, I'm…Ogura Sio…nice to meet you, Asao-san…'_

 _'Sio-chan…just always remember, when you think you can't go any further, that there's someone who's got your back…'_

 _'You know, that just now…wasn't on my e-gene's orders…'_

The people she'd met, their smiles, hopes and dreams…this was what she was ultimately fighting for. For the sake of their futures… _'and mine'_ , she thought, just a fleeting daydream of what she might possibly look like all garbed in a white, complete with a lace veil… _'Asao-san, let's go!'_ There was a warm reassurance, and she knew that they would be all right.

 _'Adam…please, wait for me…because I'll come back, I know I will!'_


	3. holLow wORlD: I lost my name

**A/N: Sio may have her thoughts set, but what about the soul that was born from her other self…Nobunagun's future, where shall that lie… Set as an interlude in the middle of A/Z, this time it's Nobunagun and Jack who must say goodbye.**

 **Warnings: explicit sexual content, NSFW.**

* * *

 _'Now I lay me down to sleep,_  
 _I pray the Lord my soul to keep,_  
 _If I shall die before I wake,_  
 _I pray the Lord my soul to take'_

"…Amen." The words were nonsensical, foreign in both diction and meaning, and yet there was a strange comfort in their cadence. Perhaps this was why religion–especially Christianity–became one of the most dominate religions in the world. The old warlord had been obsessed with Western culture in his living days–so much to the point that even she, this half-bred soul, had been subject to a few unwanted lectures already.

It was dark and quiet in the room now, the girl being careful to not disturb the other occupant of this bed. At least, not now… Carefully she slipped from his grasp, his silver hair rustling only once, before sighing back into a sleep. Dear, sweet Sio and her lover, sharing a tender embrace after a round of passion and love…

…It wasn't fair.

It wasn't that she hated or resented Sio; no, if anything it only made her chest ache more, knowing the inevitable fate that awaited her. To sacrifice herself for the good of mankind…she didn't understand that. Couldn't understand it. Even Oda Nobunaga had committed suicide instead of surrendering–were pride and victory worth that much? More than your own life?

 _'I have to protect her; for what it's worth…even with Asao as an e-gene now, she's not me…she doesn't know Sio…like me…'_

She shivered, but didn't dare pull up the covers. Her skin was cool now that the warmth from earlier had dissipated, and probably wouldn't have mattered had she just let Sio continue sleeping, but she wanted to be selfish for once. It had been a miracle alone that she'd managed to come back at all, and even with Oda Nobunaga's 'blessing', so to speak. But to pull off a miracle twice in a row…

Who knew how much longer her own consciousness, as Nobunagun, would last.

When the two had been making love earlier she had been respectful, kept her distance; watching from her hazy spot, only able to minimally experience the type of joy and pleasure that, even as filtered as it was had been unlike anything she'd ever felt. Happiness mixed with sadness, pain with ecstasy…a tear fell before she realized it, and to her horror it landed right on his cheek.

"…Sio…?" Hazy emeralds opened, while she could only stare back, unsure of what to do other than continue straddling him. "Oh, you wanted…?" His hips shifted slightly and she felt a faint shudder of pleasure. "Mmm…it's late, love…as much as I want to…"

"–It's not that. I…actually, I…I'm not, Sio. Not exactly…" Humble and head hanging, she didn't want to appear aggressive or dangerous. Come to think of it, they'd never really met before…he'd always known, or at least suspected that there was a part of Sio that was dark and chaotic, but this was the first time they'd really talked face-to-face.

"…What? Then who are you…" Emeralds narrowed slightly, but he wasn't being hostile. "What do you mean…"

"–Sorry; it's too complicated to explain…you'll have to ask _him_ later…" He was still confused, that expression making him look more like a lost pup than a warrior as she stroked his face. "You are very sweet…I can see why Sio loves you. But I'm seeking a different audience right now. Be a dear and call him for me, would you? _Kirisaki Jyakku_ …"

He only blinked once, before those brilliant green eyes closed and there seemed to be a deep sigh, the other spirit no doubt now fully aware of her presence. And sure enough, there was the taste of copper, the bitterness of blood flooding her senses as he let the darkness within his soul out.

"…So, the half-breed returns. I didn't think I'd get to see you again…" Although his words were considered rude no matter the standard, she knew there was no venom–it was-like she was-just how they simply were; their own twisted, bizarre way of showing care.

"…Hello, my Broken Knight. _Hisashiburi_ …" She gave him a rueful smile as she pushed his bangs aside. "What, you actually missed me?"

"Tch. Speak for yourself…" He wasn't looking at her directly, but there was a difference in his tone now; softer, more serious than his riddles and twisted humor. "You owe me, thief."

She blinked, genuinely confused. "… _Thief?_ I beg your pardon?" She almost wanted to switch moods and slap him in the face, but he suddenly sat up, grabbing her wrist.

"–That kiss. Why did you do it." He was breathing right in her face, emeralds boring a hole into her own. "That night…you know what I'm talking about, Nobunagun…"

Yes, she did know; one selfish, emotional slip-up, the kind she rarely let happen. And yet it had, and though fleeting, she remembered that sensation… "I…"

"One last farewell? Didn't want to die a kiss virgin?" He smirked, before letting her go. "Whatever; I don't claim to know what goes on inside the heads of you females…I just developed a reputation for cuttin' 'em up, 's all…"

"Jack…" Was it just her, or did he sound genuinely hurt? She had thought of him as nothing more than an odd shadow not unlike herself, staying behind in their vessels' minds while the e-genes ran the show. Created as nothing more than to take the burden of that legend, just for the sake of a more peaceful world…

"Well, what is it now? Surely you didn't wake me up this time just for a little experimentation…?" There was a hand on her breast and she gasped, unused to the raw feeling of actually being touched. "There's something on your mind."

"…Maybe I did come to say goodbye." Though she wanted to present herself as strong, there was no stopping the tremor as soon as she started speaking. "I-I…you already know of Sio's plans. What that entails…what it'll mean for…them…" Why was it so hard to voice out her own thoughts and feelings, even though she'd already come to accept that her own fate was inevitably tied to that of Sio's? "My entire existence…it's always been, with her's…and now, this…even I can't say for certain what'll happen."

He nodded, and to her surprise a hand reached up to her face, though he said nothing still.

"I hate…feeling scared, like this…just when I thought that, I had settled things with Oda…now this, happens…" There was a hot prick in the corner of her eyes, but she didn't dare blink.

"The world's not a fair place, love."

"No, it isn't…and besides, Sio, she…" A sarcastic chuckle, and one single tear fell, "…I have a feeling she won't be needing me anyway. Not anymore; my usefulness here is pretty much gone…"

"If you're referring t' tha' new e-gene she's got, you'd be wrong. That girl, Asao was it? She an' you are completely different. What she has to offer, it's not the same as your talents."

How different their interactions were now, praise coming from him rather than insults. "Heh…I know that…but somehow I just have a feeling myself…that Sio, she won't need me any longer…even right now…it's just borrowed time…"

She'd grown so much, her Sio. Forced to sink or swim, she'd cleared all the hurdles spectacularly, winning the hearts and battles of everyone around her, now promoted and managing the war and tactics better than Nobunagun herself could have ever dreamed. "My fearless chaos…she doesn't need that kind of strength anymore. She's got her own now…"

"Are you so sure about that." He'd been quieter now, listening to her sorrows, and perhaps he was realizing his own position as well, now that Adam always engaged Nightingale mode.

"What do you mean…"

He scooted closer, and for some reason, she let him pull her in, as if they were mimicking the movements and feelings of their vessels. "How do you know Sio doesn't need you still?"

"…I don't. I'm just–"

"–Then you can't rightfully say that you're unnecessary, can you now?" There was a hard edge to his voice, and she realized he was actually upset. "Tch, I pity you, you know? You're nothing more than a child, who craves the praise and attention of those around you, and when you don't get it, you instantly dismiss yourself." He shook his head one more time.

"Nothing more than throwin' a wobbler."

 _Temper tantrum?_ True, her own mind may have been barely a year old, but that insult was too much. "Excuse me?! Oh, and so you're suddenly so sure of yourself now, just because the legend of 'Jack the Ripper' needs to continue for that old hag's sake–"

"–That's not it! Bloody hell Nobunagun, I–if there's one thing that's consistent with you, it's your bloody temper." And then that small tenderness was broken, and they were back to what they'd always been–thorns and spines, each trying to hurt the other before they could be hurt themselves.

She grit her teeth. No, this was not how she wanted their very-probable last meeting to go. That, and too much agitation would draw the attention of their vessels. "…All right, fine; I'm sorry, okay?"

There was a deep sigh, before he turned and faced her. "You still understand nothing, Nobu. Actually, I would dare to say, you and that girl are very alike in some ways…" She wanted to lash out, but for the sake of proving that she wasn't just a petulant child, she held back. "Why can't either of you recognize how valuable you are to others? How important _you_ ," he pointed a single finger at her heart, "are?"

"I-I…to _whom?!_ " She cried out in desperation, tired of his mind games and riddles. "I don't know–I don't know anything! I'm just scared–I don't want to die, or to disappear, or, or…" She was crying now, even though she swore she wouldn't–all the emotions she felt were just too new and confusing and causing her mind to race wildly all over the place. "Why should I have to give all this up…just when I thought I got it all back…"

"And that's fine; it's all right to be scared and upset, you know." She didn't even resist as he pulled her into a full embrace, letting him pat her back and smooth her hair, just as she'd experienced so many times through Sio but right now, these was her feelings, her own experience. "Tears don't suit one of your standing, m'lady…"

She gave a half-hearted laugh. "I wish it didn't have to be this way…I-I…I don't want to go down there…"

"Nor do I; but it is what it is. And I know you understand that."

Yes, she did. Even though she didn't want to…it was what Sio desired. And Sio's dreams and wishes were, above all, what drove Nobunagun as well.

"Sometimes I wonder…if there's anything left in this…hollow world…"

He raised a silver brow. "You think this world has no value?"

"No…at least, to me…I'm not sure anymore." This was how it was, wasn't it? Rage until she had nothing left, and then go back to what she was–waiting, hazy and uncertain about her own fate. "…But, thank you…for listening to me. I guess if there's one thing I'll miss about you…it's our 'talks'."

Her lips were about to brush against his cheek this time, her last little bit of devilish behavior; but there was a sudden grasp on the bottom of her chin and the next thing she knew, he was kissing her deeply on the lips, one hand wound behind her head, pushing her closer, deeper–until at last they parted, her heart pounding as she gasped for air, a dangerously new and strange feeling coursing through her.

"Wh-what, what…what did you–"

"–You'd really think I'd let you get away with that again? A single kiss?" His voice was husky, but more aggressive than his vessel's, and a thread of heat was making itself known throughout her body. "I won't let you run away so easily, Nobunagun…"

"I'm not–I'm, not…running…" That predatory glimmer in his emeralds…it made her feel extremely vulnerable, and although she usually loathed it, somehow when it was with him…it was all right.

"Remember, Nobu…you owe me. And I intend to collect right now."

There was only a split-second of warning before he literally pounced on her and pushed her flat on her back, mind too stunned to even register anything other than his tongue grappling with hers, the warmth and smoothness of his body against hers…

 _Hers_ …as in, Nobunagun was experiencing this on her own, and not through the proxy of Sio. Suddenly she pushed him off, heaving for air as the very realization ran through her. "W-Wait, I, we can't…"

"What's wrong? You don't want this?" There was a slight tremor of regret in his voice, although by the time she paid attention it was gone. "Your vessel, and mine…they're not virgins anymore, you know."

"I know that; that's, not it…" True, she knew what sex was–hell, how many times had she and Sio clashed, over her own perverted little fantasies and Sio's innocent purity? But it was always with Sio in control, in the end; Nobunagun could only sit back and watch, and hopefully experience it somehow…

Something warm embraced her from behind, and she shivered, despite the heat. "I think I understand; Sio may have done this before, but now, this…is technically your first time, isn't it, Nobunagun?"

"I-I–I'm not afraid–!"

To her surprise, he laughed softly. "I wasn't referring to your state of readiness, Nobu. You feel guilty; that you're using her body for your own selfish pleasures." She looked away at those words, unable to confirm or deny. "So. I am correct."

"I…I…what about you? How can you…how do you know he's…okay with this?"

"Because he told me so."

She spun around, not expecting that answer. "What! You, your vessel…Adam…that boy is actually…allowing you?!"

He shrugged. "You can't hear his voice, so I have no way of giving you proof, other than my own words." Slowly, a finger traced her cheek, then down her neck, to her left breast, where that scar now sat. "Do you trust me, Nobunagun?"

"I…I…" She gulped, but could only nod, her voice not working for some reason.

"Though I can't claim to know that girl as you do, I'm sure she feels the same…why don't you try and see?" His hand was cupping her breast, but it was gentle and soft, and she felt her eyes flutter close and their mental link open.

 _'S, Sio…Sorry, I…'_

 _'Daijoubu, Nobu-sama.'_ Even though her vessel was filtered through a haze of rest, she could feel the warmth emanating throughout her. As if it were a gentle push, an encouragement for her to go forth.

 _'…Thank you, Sio.'_

Before her eyes even opened, a moan had escaped her mouth, the first sensation she experienced that of a warm hand on her breast, tracing the scar before lightly pushing the pink tip. " _Mmm_ …th-this…"

"You're very soft." There was a tone of wonder in his voice, like he was a boy who was touching a real woman for the first time–and she realized that just like her, this was also his first experience being in complete control, separate from Adam. "Is it good?"

"Ah, y-yeah…heh, aren't you supposed to be the 'classy' killer of London…you're, acting more like a virgin than that boy ever did…"

There was a grin, and his rather pointy teeth shown through. "Is that so? Well, I will admit that this is the first time I can put my theories into practice…but I think, as you're discovering," he drew another moan from her as his second hand joined, "that I am quite good with theories."

"Th, that's… _ahh_ …" She couldn't even finish her sentence in her head, let alone voice it. The irony of her, the great and wild Nobunagun, who supposedly had a high libido and dirty mind, was being undone just by nothing but by experiencing being touched for the first time. "H-How, embarrassing…"

"Hmm? What is?" His hands stopped their wandering and she whimpered.

"B-Being, like…this…" Shy and even stuttering, it was as if she and Sio had exchanged places; and yet, for some reason, she didn't wish to go back to the way things were.

"Ah…there are some things that you can never be fully prepared for, love. Why not just enjoy it? She's letting you, isn't she?"

"Yes, but…" There was still that slight tinge of guilt, unknowing if this was all just going to be a dream or trap, and she would be punished for it later.

Something warm brushed over her mounds and she realized he was planting very light kisses, all around her neck. "I'll make it good for you, Nobunagun…I promise."

She wondered if he'd ever lured anyone, with that seductive charm of his. Unlikely, given his status as a phantom–but she found herself not being able to think very hard anymore, her usual sharpness and spite being softened as he kissed her breasts, Nobunagun unable to keep her voice from whimpering out.

"H-How…are you… _ah_ , going to make it good for me…" Her body was so warm and her mind was hazy with an entirely new feeling that wasn't quite lust, but she didn't know what it was.

"Let me show you…"

Lips that were suddenly light and feathery became heated and moist, his tongue dancing along her pulse as she felt herself becoming more horizontal, her lower regions becoming increasingly hot as a needy, aching pulse started throbbing between her legs. " _Oh! Ah, mmph…_ " The squeaks and moans she was putting forth did not sound like her at all; she attempted to muffle her voice with her hand, but he pulled it away.

"Oy, don't hide your voice…let it out. I want to hear more of it…"

"Wha–but it's so embarassing– _ah! Mmmnnn~_ " She bit her lips, but it was becoming very difficult to keep quiet.

"It'll make you feel better too, trust me. Don't hold back, Nobu…please. Because I can assure you, I won't be."

Especially as a finger slid down, right above the curls of dark hair, and she squealed through her teeth. " _Aahn!_ Th-that place…" Warm and already slick with fluids, she had only ever sensed it in a vestigial manner, whereas Sio would thrash and cry with pleasure each time Adam touched her there.

"May I touch you here?" She was again taken off-guard by his asking for permission, but maybe, just like her, he too was changing and growing with his own vessel. "I'll go slowly…"

"Sure…go ahead." It was fascinating almost, to watch him slide that finger down and her getting to feel the sensations, without any sort of barrier. " _Aa–hnnn~_ " Her legs squeezed shut automatically, a whine escaping her mouth as she hugged herself tightly, shuddering. "I-I wasn't expecting it to be so…sensitive…"

"But it was good?" She nodded, opening her legs again and letting him touch her more, to explore on his own. "Amazing…it's very wet and slippery, and hot…"

" _A-Ah, aahnn,_ I-I– _uhnn, aahh…_ " How was it that she was reduced to nothing more but babbling incoherently, stomach squeezing with an intense heat each time his fingers rubbed her in a specific spot. "H-Hey, touch me here…" That sensitive little nub that became swollen and peeked out whenever this body became aroused…she knew that it was one of the greatest sources of pleasure for Sio. And she wanted to experience it for herself.

"This?" He pinched the small nub, causing Nobunagun to cry out. "Oh, sorry…"

"N-No, like, you know…" She took his hand and used a single finger to rub, teasing under the hood and then around the edge, her thighs quivering all the while. "Like this…"

"I see." The steady friction was causing her to squirm and her hands couldn't stop grasping at the sheets. So this was what it felt like to be pleasured…certainly, those little glimpses she could feel, as good as they had been, were nothing compared to the actual sensations.

" _Ahh, hahh, hahh_ …r-rub it faster…" She was vividly aware of a burning in the pit of her stomach, like some string being pulled tighter and tighter. Her legs were starting to get sore from clenching so hard, but she couldn't stop–if she stopped for even a second, she was afraid she'd fall off that delicate tightrope that was leading to something grand. "F-faster…more! S-Something's…happening…"

His finger was moving like a machine almost, the pressure being applied to her clit nonstop and causing her muscles to start pulling themselves taut, her lungs gasping for breath. Just as she thought she couldn't go further though, he stopped momentarily, much to her dismay. "Why'd you stop…!"

"There's something I want to try…that I've heard of, and only seen…" His voice was a low murmur, as if he was focused solely on her pleasure. "It's…inside…there's a spot…I've seen him do it before…"

"O-Oh…" _That_ spot; it had taken the other two some time and a few tries to find it, but more than once, Nobunagun had been shook out of her usual slumber by an intense wave of her vessel being caught in the throes of ecstasy.

A finger was pushing outside her entrance, and though it wasn't painful, she couldn't help but tense up. "Oy, I need you to relax, Nobu…otherwise I can't get it in." He rubbed her thighs warmly, and she felt herself easing up, and his finger slid in, her insides well-lubricated with her own fluids. "There we go…can't believe how tight you still are, though."

It was…interesting, to say the least. Certainly it wasn't painful, but it was…odd, to feel something moving around inside, poking and prodding, searching for something… "It's…weird– _ah!_ " Her hips jerked on instinct as the digit bumped up against a spot on her inner walls. " _Hnnngg_ …I-I think…"

"So, you _can_ actually feel it…" Now that he found it, the finger started moving back and forth, rubbing over that swelling and Nobunagun shuddered so hard she could barely keep her eyes open.

" _Oooooo–ooh~_ " The moan was long and drawn-out, her hips starting to move on their own to try and match the rhythm with which he was thrusting his finger in and out. "Oh god…this, feeling…!"

It was different than when he was only teasing her clit; no, this type of pleasure seemed to draw from deep within her, and spread until her entire body felt like it was on fire. " _Haaahnn–nnng_ , wh-what is this…"

"Something that'll make you feel good…" The heat had cooled slightly when he'd paused, but now it was boiling up quick, her breath coming in faster and faster pants and she was sure now that this was what they called the climax–the highest peak of something she didn't know, but she knew she wanted it.

Before she knew it, he put another finger back over her slick little pearl and she nearly thrashed off the bed, the fire in her stomach becoming unbearable. " _Hyaaaaa!_ " The squeal had been embarrassing to say the least, but it just felt too good. "S-Something's…c-coming…I-I don't…!"

She was quivering again, back arching unconsciously as she panted and cried, bucking her hips because she needed to gain something– _anything_ to get over the edge, to that thing… "Wh-why… _aahh_ , this…feeling…" Nobunagun almost wanted to tell him to stop, that she was afraid of the intensity, but she could hardly get enough air, let alone speak.

"Just let it happen, Nobu; you'll be fine."

His voice was soothing, and she she let herself fall away into that haze, the warmth of pleasure that was nearly overtaking her entire being. Her body was shaking, vision threatening to go black as the heat exploded and the next thing she knew she was crying out, Jack holding her down as she writhed, digging into the sheets, pillows–anything within reach as her first orgasm wracked her senseless.

"Nobunagun. Are you all right?" There seemed to be cotton in her ears, because she couldn't hear very well, although his emeralds showed concern as he gently wiped her tears up. "Oy, Nobu…"

" _D-Daijoubu…ooh…_ " Gingerly she touched herself, only to wince. "Too sensitive…" Gasping, she lay against his lap, still trying to process the feeling. "I…that was…is that what it's like?"

"Apparently so." She looked up and he was licking his fingers and hand, which appeared to be drenched. "I, uh…also forgot that you…or rather, your body…secretes fluids when stimulated there…"

In short, he'd probably gotten a shock when she'd squirted all over him during her orgasm. "Oh…right, that…" The first time it'd happened to Sio she'd been mortified, until Adam reassured her that next time they'd simply use a towel. "Uh…does that…taste good?"

He shrugged, continuing to lick off her juices as if it were perfectly normal. "It's not bad, per say… _he_ seems to like it well enough…"

It was strange that despite his bravado and egotistical teasings, in the end he still acquiesced to Adam. Interesting how their relationships worked–that the two of them, halfway between e-genes and something else, both bolder and more reckless than their originals and yet they never would dream of overtaking them, instead content to always to serve and protect.

"Hey…I, want to touch you, too…"

He stared at her for a bit, emeralds unblinking before nodding. "You know what to do?" There was a faint grin in his voice, and she scowled.

"Just because I've never done it in real life before doesn't mean I'm an idiot." Gingerly she touched his member, which was already stiff and hot; hard, but also velvety-soft as she stroked him experimentally, and a strangled sort of gasp left his throat.

"N-Not that hard…you can go faster, you know…"

She eased her grip but increased her speed, taking advantage of her own fluids to lubricate him as well as she wiped up the excess from her thighs onto her hands. "It, really is hard…that's so weird…"

"Wh-what's so– _oh_ –weird, 'ey… _oh_ , that's good…" His eyes were fluttering closed and cheeks flushed, and she decided she liked that expression on him. " _Unh_ –y-yeah, that's it… faster…"

Her hands were pumping at a moderate pace, marveling at just how even the slightest changes in pace or direction could cause him to moan, his own hips pushing up slightly to meet her hand each time. So this was human touch, human interaction…Nobunagun wished she'd discovered it sooner, but at least Sio had been kind enough in letting her experience it a last, rather than not at all.

Something wet touched her hand and she gasped, stopping momentarily in shock which caused him to let out a groan. "Don't stop…"

"Sorry…but, what is this…" The fluid that was leaking out the tip was clear and slippery, much like her own. "Is this…sperm…?"

"No…it's, the pre-cum…"

"Oh…" She felt a little foolish about her lack of sexual knowledge when it really came down to it, despite all her fantasies. But who could blame her–all she knew came from Sio, and until very recently, even she didn't know much about this at all.

His breathing seemed to be reaching a pitch, and she wondered what it would be like to see him as he came–until he suddenly reached over and pulled her hand off. "S-Stop…that's enough…"

"Eh? But you haven't climaxed…"

He nodded. "I haven't; but that's because I'd like to come…with you." He paused, as if choosing his words carefully. "I…want to come inside you."

Even after all this, Nobunagun felt a new surge of emotion she'd never felt before. Lust for sure, and affection…but this feeling…it had come up earlier when he was pleasing her, but she hadn't connected it then. Now, thinking on it…she could only recall the closest similarity through Sio's own experiences.

 _Love_.

Suddenly she was terrified, as the identity of this mystery emotion revealed itself at last. Was this what it was like to fall in love…? Frighteningly deep, and yet it touched a part of her that she'd always been yearning for, some way to fill this hole in her heart that she never realized was there.

 _'Don't be foolish…! You're just confusing Sio's own feelings with yours…'_ She wasn't capable of something as deep as love; couldn't possibly be. A phantom like her, half a soul that wasn't even meant to exist in the first place…

"…You're having second thoughts?" She hadn't even realized he'd gotten so close, one hand tracing the scars she'd come to acquire. "Or…is it something else…"

"I-I…why are you doing this?"

Emeralds blinked back in shock, as if almost not believing her words. "What? Why? I'd think it's fairly obvious–"

"–I mean aside from the fact that our vessels are…together. Aside from the fact that it feels good. Why…would you do something like this…for someone like me? Is it because you pity me?"

He stared at her long and hard after that, and for a second she though he was really angry with her. Until…

"…It's certainly not pity; I had thought that a woman of your caliber would be sharper than that, but I suppose I was wrong…"

"Wait, what–I don't, I don't understand–" Fear that she'd never truly felt until now, rising up in a swell of panic as he seemed to turn away–perhaps he'd taken her hesitance as a sign of rejection?

"–You haven't figured it out?" A slight chuckle as he shook those white locks. "I beg to differ, Nobunagun. If I know you half as well as I think I do…and I'm hardly ever wrong…you already know that answer. It's right here," he pointed straight at her heart.

"You just simply refuse to acknowledge it."

"I-I'm not denying anything…!" But that wasn't true, was it? Just as Sio had somehow mixed the feelings of romance and camaraderie down the line…she and Jack, trading blows on the field to trading words to something more…

Tears were falling down her face, for some reason she was feeling even more vulnerable and weak than when she'd first awoken. "I'm not, I-I don't…how can someone like me, deserve… _this_ …I'm not worthy of love!"

The dam broke, and the next thing she knew her tears were falling as fast and furious as they never had, only Sio had ever sobbed like this before. A wretched existence…how was it that one minute she was reveling in the newness and warmth of sex, and the next it was as if the rug was snatched from underneath her, even the scraps of life that she'd barely managed to cling to being taken away.

"You're wrong, Nobu." Even as she sobbed, he didn't leave. "The things you think you deserve, or don't…I don't believe any of that."

"H-How–why–"

"–Because I already love you. And I don't mean the boy."

How was it that once upon a time, they could barely stand the sight of each other, and even threatened each other, and then could it come to this? Working together for the sake of mutual benefit was one thing; but friendship? Even love?

She had no words left; only shaking her head and holding herself tight, unable to process what it was he was saying, even as he was kissing away her tears. Such warmth and kindness…perhaps there was something to be said that they had absorbed part of their other halves, come into their own beings.

"Love can be frightening, can't it? Especially for those who've never felt it before…" He grasped her hand and let it rest on his chest, and she felt the rapid thudding pulsing underneath her fingertips. "Just feel how fast my heart is beating; even now, I'm terrified."

Despite her tears, she couldn't help but choke out a weak laugh. "You, scared? If you told me that a month ago, I wouldn't have believed you…"

"Of course. Humans fear that which they do not know, don't they? And I'd wager that love is full of unknowns, no?"

What was it about him that always caused her to return, that could erase those feelings of worthlessness and despair? "…A phantom charmer, that's what you are," she murmured, slowly wiping the last of her tears. "You don't need knives–you're a lady killer with your mouth alone."

He gave a mock bow. "Your compliments are too kind, Lady Nobunagun. But," and once again she felt herself being gently laid down, "I would like to use this mouth of mine in a different manner…that is, if you'll let me."

A surge of heat was pressing against her, and the feelings that had become muted were rushing back in full force. "Very well; I wonder, just how good you can make this for me…"

As gentle and charming as he could be like Adam, there was still no denying that the tinge of wickedness was all Jack as the emeralds glinted in the moonlight.

"It will be more than simply 'good', I promise."

Whether he was a quick study, or just good with theories, the end result was the same: hot, furious kisses that were laced along the curves of her neck, leaving her gasping for air while she combed her fingers through silver strands that were every bit as soft and fine as silk. This was no longer the curious explorations of a boy, but the passion and fire of a man. Her body had already sustained a few marks here and there from earlier, but at this rate, Nobunagun was afraid that not even her uniform would be enough to cover everything.

To lose yourself in passion, if just for a single night…a strong heat was pulsing between her legs and she suddenly wanted to feel that glorious pleasure again, that made her stomach knot and her toes curl in pure ecstasy as heat spread through her entire body. Sex as the ultimate expression of love…she now understood why Sio had petitioned so stubbornly to allow Adam to share her quarters.

" _Hnnngg–!_ " She gave a sudden squeal as his tongue dipped low, swirling her glistening nub. "T-Tease…" It was still sensitive from earlier, and just a single lick alone had caused her to shiver and push against the sheets. "It feels…so good there…"

"I can tell; you're soaked." To prove his point, he wriggled in two fingers this time, but to her surprise they slid in much easier than the first time. "Are you ready?"

She stared at his length: hot, throbbing, and the tip oozing that clear fluid. Sio had seen it many times now, and in a sense so had Nobunagun, but seeing through someone else's eyes was quite different than your own.

"Yes…" She licked her lips nervously, amazed that such a thing could fit inside her, and so well at that.

"Relax; it'll be fine." Hot, that what it felt like; firm and hot as he pushed in, helped along by the slickness of her own fluids and his warm, soft whispers of encouragement that allowed her to stretch without hurting.

" _Oh_ …you are very warm inside, you know? Really…hot…" For all his charisma and charm, there were no masks to be had as they started to move. It wasn't as smooth without their vessel's experience, but she was more than willing to learn along with him.

Their breaths grew as the pace did. The feeling of closeness, touching another body so intimately…physical pleasure was one thing, and certainly she wouldn't deny the mind-numbing heat hanging low in her belly, driving her to thrust her hips upwards to meet his in rapid succession while she learned to use her own fingers to please herself.

"Hot…it's so hot…I-I think I'll…" She wanted to keep her eyes open, peering at those brilliant emeralds but each thrust was so intense that between her moans and gasps for air, it was all she could do to even stay conscious. And yet there was another factor, that wasn't physical yet it fueled her desires just as strongly.

"I-Is this…what love is…?" She breathed against his neck in between their kisses, tongues tangling as she wound her arms around his shoulders, breathing in his scent.

"Love…?" He paused only for a moment, cupping her face so that she could look at him directly. "I cannot tell you exactly what it is…but, I should like to…believe it…"

The feeling of being with someone. To have all of them. This was what she wanted to tell him, but for some reason, whether it was the mounting pleasure or because it just seemed too idealistic for someone like her to say…she merely closed her eyes and kissed him, and prayed that he would understand. Emeralds opened once, before they closed and he kissed her back, and somehow without words, she knew they reached an understanding.

"I-It's…c-coming again… _ooh_ …" The quivery feeling that was about to boil over, her limbs shaking as her back arched, pushing herself harder against him. Unlike the first time where he'd merely used his fingers however, this one was like an earthquake, rumbling right before it was going to hit. "I-It's…so strong–I'm scared–!"

"Shh, Nobu…listen, Nobunagun–look at me, all right? Nobu, look at me." She forced her eyes open and return the emerald gaze, words replaced with whimpers as she feared yet desperately wished for that wave of pleasure to sweep her away. "It'll be all right, I promise…"

"I-I…don't want to disappear!" She choked, the emotional storm of her own insecurities and the flood of new emotions setting off another few drops from her eyes. "I want to stay!"

"Oh love…I wish for that too…" Lips running over her forehead while his hands brushed over her body, as if determined to smooth out any and all of her shaking. "You won't disappear; you're far too stubborn and spirited to just waste away…trust me."

Gulping, Nobunagun nodded, the fear abating and being pushed steadily away by the growing strength of her pre-climax quivers. "Y-You'd better…be here, _Kirisaki Jyakku_ …" Although her usual suspicion would have dismissed his words, right now she just wanted to hold on to his vow.

Those brilliant green eyes, that Sio always called emeralds; fierce and unwavering, but also compassionate. "Undoubtedly. You have my word, Nobunagun." Once more he leaned down and pulled her close, and for some reason she was strongly reminded of a vassal swearing fealty to a lord.

They _had_ to come back; not just for Sio's sake, but now, Nobunagun had her own reasons for wanting to survive whatever hell awaited them below the planet's watery surface. Perhaps it was selfish reasoning, but wasn't that what it meant to have a conscience? To have your own wants, needs and desires?

To feel this again, to experience it again, whether it was her or Sio…this wouldn't be the last time they would make love. The fire that was swirling in her core was now flooding her entire body, filling her with a sense that was beyond what she felt earlier; no words would be enough to describe it, the only thing she could do was to cry out and hold onto him, breathing hard while she fought to say his name as he gripped her tightly, as if afraid that she would suddenly slip away.

"N-Nobu…I'm right here…I won't leave you…!"

It was warm and hazy for a long time after that; this time the cotton seemed to have invaded all her senses–sight, sound and touch, until at last she realized that he was still sprawled over her, heart still beating strongly against her chest while he attempted to catch his breath. Sio and Adam probably wouldn't be pleased with how sore they might feel tomorrow…but for once, Nobunagun just wanted something all to herself.

So this was that feeling that she'd fought so hard for, to regain…the spirit could understand now, at last, why it was humans sought each other out, to form bonds and relationships, even if it caused them pain. It was too bad she and Jack were tied to them; bound to their originals instead of being their own selves, but maybe she should be grateful that they'd been allowed this to happen at all.

"I…don't want this to end…" Her eyes were really heavy now, and the urge to just drift back into her little slumber was overwhelming, but she wanted to try and experience this for as long as she could.

He didn't say a single word, only pulled her close and this time she didn't hesitate to bury herself in his arms, as Sio had done so many times before her. The feeling of being held…it was warm, and wonderful…safe, like she belonged at last.

"…Heh. Looks like I granted your wish, after all…" Gently, he wrapped the blankets around them, so when they woke they wouldn't be cold. "Must be gettin' soft…"

"Hah…better late than never, I guess…" Blinking, she tried to keep her eyes open but it just wasn't happening anymore… "Jack…"

"Hush, Nobu; go to sleep now. I'll be here when you wake up again."

Again. Yes, she would wake up again, when they returned.


	4. aLIEz

**A/N: Thoughts from the support team (Gandhi and Newton) on what will await their sniper in this newest, and most dangerous plan.**

* * *

"Sio-chan…she's, she's going…"

The sun was hanging low in the sky now, casting orange hues on her face. Next to her, the Indian stood, arms crossed but expression otherwise completely neutral.

"Yeah. She's got to. It's just the way it is."

"Y-Yeah…I know, I know…"

When their beloved sniper had first revealed her strategy, just to her platoon, Newton had been shocked. Not just the extent to which their enemies had spread throughout their planet, but just how they would even be able to deal with this–

"–I-I suppose, it's better than just lying down and giving up…"

"Huh?" Onyx eyes gave her a glance.

"I mean, this plan…poor Sio-chan, down there all alone…by herself for who knows how long…"

Even though she was considered an 'S' on the field, and warm and motherly when off, Newton couldn't stop the tears from falling. It was so unfair; as if the team hadn't suffered enough already, when she lost control during that disastrous battle in the Bay Area, and just when she thought that they could finally breathe a sigh of relief and get back to their more-or-less 'normal' routine…

Warm hands clapped her shoulders, though she made no moves to return his embrace. "Ah, I know…not just her, but him, as well…"

He didn't mention a name, but they both knew whom that was referring to. Their leader, Adam Muirhead, a.k.a. Jack the Ripper, who had really been Florence Nightingale all along. Their tumultuous start, complete with bickering and teasing and the occasional hurt feelings…to something warm and wonderful, and just from her looking from the outside, it always gave her a boost to see how happy the two of them were together, whether they were sharing hot chocolate or sharing a kiss.

"It's not fair! Why does it have to be her to do this? Gods, I sound like a film line…" Wiping her tears, she accepted his tissue this time, blowing her nose even though it sounded most un-ladylike.

"Because unfortunately, neither your e-gene nor mine has the correct requirements. Kaoru Asao…she's special, different. I mean, the fact they even managed to give her a second e-gene and AU ball, without the whole incarnation factor…I don't even want to imagine what that took." Gandhi rubbed her hair, and she leaned against him slightly, inhaling the scent of those spices that always seemed to be a part of him, even aboard this base.

"…Bollocks. Why can't we go at least partway–do something?! Instead, we're stuck up here…while she's, down there…"

Gandhi shrugged. "If only we could control our e-genes like that. You know that, Newton. Know that perhaps better than any of us…"

He was right. She had been among the first, if not the first–aside from old Capa–to be a part of DOGOO. She'd basically grown up with them, seen Iyo as both a parental and authoritative figure, Saint-Germain chasing after her with those chalk sticks just as he did Sio whenever she skipped class…

"Heh. I guess it doesn't matter how young you start training. If your e-gene isn't good enough…there's nothing you can do."

At this statement however, the man's eyes narrowed, and he pushed her from his chest. "Not good enough? Newton, this isn't exactly the time to be berating ourselves! Our battle above ground is just as important–like Jack said–"

"–Oh stop it! Just stop it, Mahesh!" In her rage his real name slipped out, and the shock was clear in his dark eyes. "Like I told Sio when we first met, my only power is changing the gravitational field of things I step on. That's it. Forget about killing a handful of them like that, let along spreading across the entire ocean–"

"–And so by that virtue you consider yourself useless? Even though you've proven time and time again that you are just as capable in your own ways?" Rarely did Gandhi ever get so riled up, but with such a quick succession of emotional distress, even his e-gene could no longer hold everything back. "At least you can actually attack. You think I like hearing the words 'Barrier Guy' each time I head out with that Tell? 'Gandhi, raise your barrier! Gandhi, defend the back! Gandhi, can't you do anything else?' _Hē bhagavāna_!"

He swore, the words just as spiteful and angry as those from the woman before him. Her sapphire eyes were wide and shiny, but she made no moves to retaliate, only both of them heaving from their outbursts. "Forget it; you know what, forget I just said that. We're both on edge…"

"…Apologies."

"No; I'm sorry for taking it out on you." Sighing, he stared out at the sinking sun, which was almost swallowed by the watery horizon now. "Heh, how sad; the two of us lamenting about this, and we're not even the ones directly involved."

It wasn't just about their battles to come, but something deeper. Their leader, and his beloved sniper… When Adam had first admitted (while drunk) that he liked Sio, Mahesh had warned him. That relationships in this line of work would walk that fine line between something to keep you sane, and something to drive you insane.

 _'I'm not saying I don't trust you, Adam. But I…these types of relationships, they're…'_

 _'Walkin' into a minefield, eh?' The silver-haired man took another shot, despite the fact that he was already quite wasted. 'Like your midnight wanderin's are any better…'_

 _Mahesh winced, because leave it Adam to stab him directly in his weak spot. 'Okay, I know I'm not the one who should be saying such things, but a casual hookup…emotions are a messy thing, mate.'_

 _The other man snorted. 'Hnn. Don't I know it…but it's pointless for me try and fight it. I can't; I think about her all the time–I can't, stop–'_

 _'–Then go for it. If you really feel so strongly for her, then give her your everything. At this point, you're already better along than I am…' The Indian swirled his glass, wondering just at what point would he ever advance beyond just the casual one-night stand, or the continuous flirting._

"…In a sense, I actually envy him." The blonde turned, staring at his words. "Don't get me wrong–I can't even begin to imagine just how hard this will be on him…to regain what you have lost, only to lose it again…but, the fact that they have such a deep bond…"

He didn't say the next part, but he knew Newton was thinking the same. At what point would either of them get there–whether it was with each other or eventually other people–or perhaps they just weren't meant to be the type to fall deeply in love?

Maybe it was a sort of punishment for his looser days, or maybe in the end they just weren't meant to be. Though he and the blonde had always been a unit, and somehow unconsciously adapted the title of 'couple #2′ in the Second Platoon, the thought of loving someone so much to the point of self-sacrifice…

"I wonder what it's like; to love someone on that depth." She whispered, still leaning against his chest. "Maybe I could have, at one point, but now…" Her heart had been effectively ripped out when she was a child, and it hadn't healed since.

"I don't know; I can't claim to have ever been in such a type of relationship." As harsh it was to say that to her, he knew that she agreed with him. The two of them maintaining this strange, half-lovers, half-friendship type of relationship; lately the thought of perhaps asking her to enter something more exclusive with him had crossed his mind, but each time it came, there was an overwhelming fear and deep-seated bastion that told him, 'you're not worthy of love.'

"How can you still be so calm about all this." Her words took him by surprise, despite the situation. "Sio-chan's going away–she could be gone for months— _years_ —or even—"

He cut her off with a single finger to her lips, silencing the blonde before she could speak the worst possible outcome. "I know. Believe me, although Gandhi's spirit allows me to be more…composed about this situation, I'm still scared. What's going to happen to her, to us, the entire world…" Gently he took her hands into his, noting that they were shaking just like his. "I'm scared all the time. But if I stop to think about it for even one second, I'll just lose it; and that's not something we can afford right now."

His eyes closed and Newton bit her lip. Of course he was afraid for their team. After all these years of knowing him, both in front of and behind the mask, he was just like her; a lost child still searching for approval.

"I'm sorry; I should've known. It's just…those two…how hard it's going to be for them…"

"It's all right. At this point, my reputation practically proceeds me, so I shouldn't be surprised…" Patting her back, he handed her another tissue, which she gratefully accepted.

"Sio-chan…just imagining her down there, all alone…"

"She'll come back. She has never let us down, after all. Ever since we first met her back in Taiwan…when she gets that certain look on her face, you can't help but trust her."

The sun had faded now below the horizon, only faint traces of pink and yellow mingling with the dark blues. Small chatter from the ship's crew were filling the rest of the hall, and reluctantly the blonde parted from his embrace, not wanting to create an awkward moment.

"We…should probably go eat now." Her words sounded hollow though, especially since she knew for a fact that neither Sio nor Adam would be showing their faces for the rest of the evening, not when they had so precious little time left together.

"Yeah…no, actually, I want to take a page from their book."The Indian stopped in his tracks and Newton turned around in confusion. "If the rest of the platoon's not going to be there…why should we? Who's to say we can't just spend a quiet night in our room, as well?"

They didn't have the luxury of upgrading to a suite as the other two had, but it didn't matter. His room or hers, what mattered was that they weren't all alone, in this time when it felt like everything could shatter at any minute.

Blue eyes turned up in a small smile, and she wiped her tears.. "Hah…sure, I'd…I'd like that. I guess I'll just grab something and then come back…"

"Wonderful. I'll see you in my room, then."

Maybe one day he would summon up the courage, or whatever crazy strength that had allowed Adam to confess and allow himself to be wrapped up in this strange, glorious notion of love. But for now, this would have to do: this strange, precarious balance between friends and lovers, comrades and acquaintances.

Maybe that one day would come soon, after all.


	5. and Z

**A/N: Last chapter. Adam's thoughts and perspective on Sio's final plan.**

* * *

"She's crazy! Well, I guess we always knew that, but still!"

" _Quiet_." It only took a single word, but the rest of the banter between the DOGOO members silenced instantly. The hologram had been cut now, so she couldn't hear them mutter amongst themselves–but he could. He did. Rasputin's concern about the strength of their enemy, Porsche's doubts about how feasible this plan even was…

"Ah, well we can't exactly say no to the little lady in charge now, can we?" It was the American Babe Ruth who broke that awkward silence, his jovial attitude much like his original. "C'mon Mehmed, Vlad–you two need to get ready, right?"

" _Da_ ," the dreads over the Romanian's face shook slightly, and Mehmed II's glasses glinted just once before the two shuffled off together, Adam still unable to understand just how Babe Ruth could put up with those two on a regular basis.

"Sorry 'bout that…those two are uh, they just do their own thing…" The American shrugged, as if in apology to the Englishman. "But don't worry about her–they'll take instruction alright, despite their looks."

"Eh?" Emeralds blinked in confusion. Babe Ruth was friendly, in the way most Americans tended to be, but it wasn't as if they'd ever worked much together in the past.

"Well I mean, you and her–Nobunagun–you're, you know…?" The other man raised an eyebrow sheepishly, as the rest of the platoons dispersed back into their respective teams. "You're not…?"

Oh. _Oh_. Adam had almost forgotten that his relationship to the sniper, while not exactly broadcasted to the entire organization, had become fairly clearly drawn over the past few months. "…Nobunagun–no, she's just Sio to me–she's the most important thing on this planet. For this planet."

"That's pretty obvious, but to you too, right?"

He wondered what possessed Babe to suddenly attempt to strike up a conversation with him, the friendly American to the standoffish Brit. Perhaps it was because this was one of the few times all of them had been gathered in the same place, or perhaps it was because he, like most other holders, craved the slightest bit of gossip whenever it involved one of their own.

"…Yes, she is. She means everything to me." A few months ago, he would've rather cut off his own foot than admit that to the rest of his platoon, let alone someone he didn't know, but such petty things no longer mattered. Not when there was so much at stake.

There was a low whistle from the other, clearly impressed with the Ripper's dedication. "Wow. That's…well, I mean yeah we're not really a true military organization and all but still, fraternizing with one's teammates–"

"–You Yanks just love to assume, don't you?" Adam turned around with a sneer, and Babe stopped in his tracks. "While I will admit that I am invested in a relationship with her, whether or not we shag on a regular basis is none of your bloody business."

And with that statement, he turned and left with the rest of the Second Platoon, the American left speechless in the hallway.

* * *

"Now Jack, this is probably not the best of times to be intimidating the other platoons." The blonde reprimanded him slightly as they returned to their quarters. "Though, that was a bloody lie anyhow–"

"Newton, please–"

"–What! It's not news to this ship that you're her bunkmate," she stated casually, stretching her arms. "I think it's quite sweet…and, well…"

He was surprised as the normally cheerful woman seemed to break off, unable to say her final words. The thought of Sio leaving them, leaving the team…it had been hard on all of them, and he knew he shouldn't have selfishly assumed that he was the only one to be affected so much.

"She'll be back. Her track record has been excellent, no?" The Indian started pushing them towards their rooms again, and Adam wondered how it was that Gandhi could still stay so calm after all this.

"Y-Yeah…sorry, excuse me–"

"Newton–"

"I'll check on her later, Adam," the Indian gently pulled the silver-haired man back, as Newton half-walked, half-ran back to her room. "She'll be fine; you know she will be."

"Yeh…"

To his surprise, Gandhi didn't leave right away, instead facing him right outside his cabin. "If anything, I should be asking you, Adam. You know, you don't have to shoulder this all by yourself–"

"–I'll be fine. 've _been_ fine…" He muttered, not really wanting to get into this conversation with Gandhi. Even though he appreciated his concerns, and it was good to know that his friends had his back…he just couldn't right now. They were on the verge of possibly one of the most important missions ever…if he was going to have a breakdown, it would be after it was completed, and not a second sooner.

Onyx eyes stared for a long time, before he nodded. "All right. All right…I understand." He clapped the Brit's shoulder one more time before leaving. "Take care of yourself, Adam."

* * *

As soon as the pressurized air sealed itself, he collapsed onto their bed, not even bothering to change first. _Theirs_. It was their bed now, ever since Sio had gotten that promotion and spent a whole afternoon convincing command why she wanted him to share her room. Personally, Adam would've been just fine with simply moving all his meager belongings into her cabin, but Commander Iyo rose to the occasion spectacularly, and gave them not only the right to share quarters, but a larger suite as well. It was a strange feeling at first…the nervous excitement of somehow having their relationship acknowledged, but it was also definitely a learning experience. Like whose clothes should go where, or getting used to being woken up in the dead of night several times, Sio often in tears or yelling from yet another nightmare–he grabbed the pillow and hugged it tight, her faint scent making his heart ache all the more.

He hoped she wouldn't be too late today; regardless, he'd made a vow to never fall asleep before her arrival, and he hadn't failed yet. Still, a kip might do…the meeting had been exhausting in more ways than one.

 _…You worry. As you rightly should._

Adam turned over with a groan. _'Bloody hell Nightingale…I'm not in the mood for a pick-me-up.'_

 _Spare me the wobbler; you won't be resting much anyway, not with those thoughts._

 _'Oh yeah? Well then what should I be doing? Pretending that everything's going to be fine? That this plan is foolproof, and before you know it the world's at peace and we can finally get mar–'_

He stopped himself, realizing a second too late that in his exhaustion, his carefully controlled thoughts had breeched into the realm of his deepest desires, vast fantasies that he found himself dreaming of more and more. _'…You didn't hear that last part–'_

 _Oh, my dear boy…you already know as well as I do that is futile. I am you; I know your thoughts, your hopes, your deepest dreams… What's wrong with admitting that you are thinking of marriage, with her? You are around the age to start considering it, especially since you love her…_

Her tone was sympathetic, maybe a little bit teasing, but her words were sincere. Even though she wasn't visible, Adam felt himself blushing anyway. _'Quiet, hag. I…it's none of your bloody business! Whether or not I wish to get…married…or if we even can…'_ If it only were just a matter of rules and logistics, but no; their future together would hinge on their ability to even survive, even physically be able to one day…

 _Hmm. You are not fond of her going without you. Are you jealous? Or just afraid?_

Before he had revealed Nightingale mode, Adam had always thought that e-genes simply waited in the background, until you needed them. However, now that he always engaged Nightingale mode, she had become rather…chatty, to say the least. Now, he finally understood Sio's frustrations when she ranted to him about what an arse Oda Nobunaga could be.

 _'What are you tryin' to get at.'_

 _Well, logistically speaking, I unfortunately do not possess the capabilities to allow you to go undersea, much less disperse into the ocean's waves. But that new one…Kaoru Asao, she can. And she was close with that girl in the living world, wasn't she?_

Kaoru Asao. Sio's best, and perhaps only friend, before she'd joined DOGOO. A charming, kind and caring girl, taking the word selfless to a whole new level. Although he knew that Sio had a special bond with her, he'd never felt threatened–he and Sio had their own bond, that was different from anything else. But to know that not only could she be the only one to join Sio on her mission, but also was the key that would allow her to…his chest gave a painful squeeze as Nightingale's words sunk in.

 _'You…are not helping. In any manner.'_

 _No, I suppose not. I do apologise… But Adam, you know…trust is another part of love._

 _'I–'_

" _Tadaima_ …" He was about to retort when the door suddenly opened and she stepped back in, sounding as tired as he felt.

" _Okaeri_ , Sio." His e-gene vanished instantly as he crossed the room and took off her hat and cape, before pulling her into a warm hug. "You all right…?"

"Yeah…yeah. That uh, meeting was…pretty shocking, huh?" She tried her best to give him that smile he loved, but it only came out halfway before her lips started wobbling.

"Oy oy, it's all right Sio, it's all right…" Everything he'd been thinking about–his fears, insecurities, anxieties–they all took a backseat when it came to her. To comfort, support, anything–he would gladly give his life in a heartbeat, no questions asked.

"A-Adam…I wish it didn't have to be this way…" She was trying to change out of her uniform and wiping her tears at the same time, but it wasn't working so well. "But it's the only–"

"Sio. Listen to me, love." Thumbing her tears, he gently sat her down in his lap, despite the fact that she was wearing nothing more than her underwear. "You don't need to apologise for anything; you know that I know why it has to be this way…"

She sniffed, curling into his lap as he patted her hair–which needed to be dyed again soon, he noted–nuzzling against his chest as she'd done all this time. "Y-Yeah…I, I know…"

"Why don't we put those thoughts aside now, yeh? It's been a long day…sleep sounds good, no?" If Nightingale were still around now, she'd be calling him a hypocrite–how dare he assure her that everything would be fine, when Adam himself could barely keep his own worries under wraps? But no; if it was for her…he'd suffer through anything.

"Mmm…I, I'm glad you're here…it's so warm…." She sniffled just a bit, before turning and curling into his arms, her small body fitting so nicely against his. "I like this…"

"Me too…" He sighed into her hair, now letting the exhaustion overtake him fully. They were too emotionally drained for sex tonight; and really, as he'd told off Babe Ruth in the corridor, it honestly wasn't any of their business how many nights a week they made love.

* * *

 _'You'd better come back…'cause I'll be waiting, right here.'_

 _'Y-Yeah…see you then, on the other side…'_

The ocean. Its vast, unseen depths. That image of her falling, falling, but with a determined smile on her face… it haunted him endlessly, whether he was asleep or awake.

Of course it had to be him to deliver her to that destiny; no one else, even though he was sure there would be no shortage of volunteers–it just had to be him in the end. The bed seemed much too large now, emptier and colder. The sheets and pillows still smelled of her scent, especially since they hadn't been changed from the last night they made long, passionate love. As much as he'd rather recall his memories of that wonderful night, even those feeling could not overwhelm the immense loneliness that ached in his heart.

 _'No sleep tonight either then?'_ The voice was sharp and biting, not unlike his own when on the battlefield.

 _'Oy. 'S not like you're helping the situation, either…'_ Adam groaned and put his head under the pillow, even though he knew that would have absolutely have no effect on the more volatile, shadow-like phantom known as The Ripper. Ever since that night, Nightingale seemed to have taken pity on him, and let him out more, instead of always forcing him behind that mask.

And Jack had wasted no opportunity to start chatting up his fellow soul, to the point where Adam now fully understood just why Sio seemed to be borderline-schizophrenic at times. Still, he didn't have the heart to banish the poor soul–no doubt he too was feeling rather lonely and missing that wild side of her, though he would never care to admit it to the boy–even though Adam had been fully aware, and granted Jack permission to let him fully enjoy himself for one night.

 _'Hn. Suit yourself. Don't come cryin' t' me tomorrow morning when you knick yourself 'cause yeh can't even open your eyes to shave properly.'_

 _'Jack…just shut up. Besides, you were the one who decided to hijack my body and go for another…round.'_ Admittedly that was a rather low blow, but Adam was getting too tired for niceties. Besides, they had woken up feeling more drained than usual, which was not exactly how he wanted their sendoff to be.

 _'…You said I could…'_ The voice was now pouty, almost childlike. _'…Sorry. Guess I got…carried away that night…'_

Great. Now he felt like an arse. _'…No, I didn't mean to. it's just…hard.'_

 _'It is.'_ There was a tone he'd never heard before, one that was not sharp and sarcastic and cold-blooded murder. _'This…emotion. If I'd known how much it would…hurt, how painful it is–'_

 _'–You regret doing it?'_

 _'No. Not at all. But…I don't understand. How can something be so…joyful, and yet cause so much pain?'_

The spirit's tone was that of genuine confusion. Like Sio's other half, the two of them only halfway between souls and a part of them. Imbued with all the wisdom of their originals and the e-genes, and yet having very little actual experience themselves. In a way, they really were just children, still.

 _'…That, mate, is the question of the century–no, of a lifetime.'_

The ultimate paradox. Love, that one fickle emotion nobody understood and yet everyone yearned for. Even now, Adam could barely reconcile that he too, had fallen deep into this seeming cliché and yet he wouldn't trade anything for it.

 _'It's…strange.'_ Adam raised an eyebrow as Jack's aura seemed to have settled down, more contemplative than hostile. _'I just…never thought I would–forget it.'_

 _'Eh? You barge into my thoughts all of a sudden, and then have the gall t' leave? You're ruder than I thought…'_

 _'I–fine, I never thought I would actually fall in love, all right?!'_ Adam could literally feel the other one blushing–or was it because he was blushing?

 _'…I realised, I wasn't actually looking for the answers to my lies, I was…looking for love.'_

If Jack actually had a physical manifestation, Adam probably would've actually gone over and given him a hug, as un-manly as that may have been. That exhilarating moment, combined with immeasurable fear when you really realized that feeling… If anything, he was feeling sorry for Jack, that the second he'd come to such a conclusion, it'd been snatched from him in a second. At least he and Sio had been able to have some time to explore the warmth of a relationship, almost even experiencing what it would be like if they ended up together, with this shared room.

 _'All beings wished to be loved…isn't that one of those flowery sayings those poets like to talk about?'_

The spirit gave a snort, or as close as he could in their mind. _'All right, quit gettin' sappy on me. Regret ever opening my mouth…'_

Now Adam had to laugh a bit, because the idea of Jack the Ripper really being a pouty, man-child was too cute. _'Ah, come off it, mate. What's so wrong with love? You said so yourself, that it was something you've always wanted, no?'_

 _'Yes. But, it hurts so much more than I ever thought it would. And yet I'm still searching for it. Yearning for it. Why?'_

The silver-haired man fell silent at that solemn statement. The combination of a child's naiveté and a grown man's passion…it made his heart sink unbearably low, as if he wasn't already in low-enough spirits to begin with…

 _'Do you know? You're hurting too, aren't you? Why is love like this?'_ How he wished he could have an answer for that spirit, and for him as well; but no words could be pulled from his mouth, because there was none to be had.

 _That's quite enough, you two. Children ought to sleep at night…_

 _'Nightingale?'_ They couldn't have been more in synch if they'd tried, the arrival of the heavenly nurse surprising both of them, especially since she was almost never around at the same time Jack was.

 _Such a dour conversation, and right before bedtime at that. I wouldn't have imagined to find you two still awake, and discussing love, of all things…_

It was strange, but Adam suddenly felt like he was five years old again, and his mum was scolding him for staying up too late again. Though he was a grown man now, and Nightingale was only in his mind, still the same feeling crept through his brain as he felt himself getting increasingly drowsy, Nightingale no doubt trying to ease their worries in her own way.

 _Oh ye of little faith…your loves will return, trust me. You must have faith…_

 _'Tch. What the hell does she know…wasn't she a virgin her whole life or somethin'…'_ Jack grumbled, but Adam could sense tiredness from him as well.

 _'Just…sleep, Jack. We can talk more tomorrow…if you want.'_

 _'…Thanks.'_

Adam rolled over and pulled the duvet up to his chin, missing her still but feeling a bit better knowing that, perhaps he wouldn't be all alone in his feelings.

 _'Don't mention it.'_

It was as Nightingale had chastised; they had to believe, in their unending hope that she would return to them once again.


End file.
